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It’s ok to be unhappy

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It is the start of a new year.  2013 is history – with its ups and downs, bad and good times, successes and failures.

2012 marked the most difficult year in my life, so 2013 was outstanding in comparison.

I’ve made new year’s resolutions for the last 12 years and they have changed remarkably over time.  From self-centered resolutions (floss my teeth 5 times a week, eat a vegetable with dinner, pay off my VISA) to people-centered (date night once a month, cousin reunion this summer).  I even went so far as to start categorizing them into financial, green living, health, family, etc.

My sister and I have exchanged resolutions for the past few years for accountability and support purposes.  I have training as a wellness coach so I take it upon myself to make sure our goals are designed for measurement. 

This year, I have not made any resolutions.  I spent the last few months reflecting on areas of my life and my business that I want to improve, but they have not culminated into the ultimate new year’s resolution. 

The areas I want to improve are generally areas I am unhappy about.   Perhaps I have not made my NYRs in writing because it validates the unhappiness.  This would be classified as denial.  I suppose. 

I do know from my experience in health promotion that there are stages of readiness for behavior change.  If you are at level one, you are not even thinking about change (pre-contemplation).  It isn’t until level four that you are actually doing something about it (action).

Unhappiness is a good motivator to move to the action stage.  Unhappiness is what gets people inspired to do great things in the world.  If women weren’t unhappy that they didn’t get to vote then history wouldn’t have changed.

Trying to suppress unhappiness is a sure fire way to pain, disease and more unhappiness, at least from my experience.  Let yourself be unhappy.  Own it.  Then decide if it is something that is a high enough priority to do something about.

If you didn’t make any resolutions or despise those who do, there is nothing wrong with you.  If you are unhappy, there is nothing wrong with you.

Let yourself feel your emotions.  Be unhappy.  It’s ok – I promise.

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