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Entries in family (10)

It’s ok to be unhappy

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It is the start of a new year.  2013 is history – with its ups and downs, bad and good times, successes and failures.

2012 marked the most difficult year in my life, so 2013 was outstanding in comparison.

I’ve made new year’s resolutions for the last 12 years and they have changed remarkably over time.  From self-centered resolutions (floss my teeth 5 times a week, eat a vegetable with dinner, pay off my VISA) to people-centered (date night once a month, cousin reunion this summer).  I even went so far as to start categorizing them into financial, green living, health, family, etc.

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Dial down the intensity


I have been told by my husband that I like to fill my free time with events. He is right. I impulsively schedule meet-ups and play dates when I have any shred of energy or desire to do so. I enjoy it, but I rarely take time to recharge with my unscheduled time.

I have learned the last 15 months that I have to dial down the intensity of my enthusiasm. January 2012 is when the pain from my back kicked in. For most of my life I have dealt with back pain, but I know it's not just the physical structure of my spine that creates problems; I add my own level of trauma by wanting to go go go.

I didn't dial down the intensity until after graduation. If I had, I would have graduated late. Truth be told, taking the bar exam 2 months after a spinal decompression may not be turning it down either. I felt like I did; I put myself and family before studying but I probably put myself second.

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Under the rain cloud of the bar exam

March 20th is the first day of spring.  I live in Iowa and its been an abnormally cold and snowy March - it is a conversation topic everyone is talking or lamenting about lately.  For me, March 20th feels like yesterday and the day before - another day I am trapped under a raincloud in the middle of a sunny day.  It has been 3 weeks since the bar exam ended.  And 46 days until the results.  I feel like my head is going to explode.

I only blogged once during my study session for the February exam.  I had a lot to say, but I didn’t take time to write it down, albeit the one time in January I did blog.  There was too much pressure to do well on the exam to make time  to do something for pleasure.  The bar exam is a high stakes exam.  That phrase feels inferior to what it represents - lawyers sacrificing everything they have to get licensed to practice in a lethargic and anorexic legal field.  It truly represents the definition of insanity.

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Calling in the vows

Photo by Frazer Smyth Photography http://frazersmyth.co.uk/

2012 has, without question, had its challenges. I covered a lot of it in my post "Worst Christmas letter ever." One constant in the roller coaster ride of this year is the unwavering support of friends and family. And it needs to be said separately-the sacrifices my husband of 7.5 years made time and again to make sure I got to where I am today; he is nothing short of amazing.

This weekend was a family wedding; the second this year. Weddings are great as a married couple because the homily is a nice continuing education credit on marriage.   Also, the vows are a reminder of the promise we made to each other. One thing is for sure-I called in the vows this year. More than any other year of our marriage. And strangely they all probably need to be called in when a spouse is sick.  A spouse's illness, in my opinion, takes the biggest toll on a marriage.

For better or worse.
For richer or poor.
In sickness or in health.

Worse. Poor. Sick. But still going strong. And making us even stronger. Love you dear!

Still standing

Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics 

Monday mornings are always challenging – no one wants to start the work week and Graham always puts up a fight about going to daycare.  The great thing is that once we get through the Monday morning shuffle, we enjoy the day ahead. 

Today, I am working on easing back into life and getting myself organized.  No work today.  No school today!!!  Just lists and compartmentalizing the things I want to work on from now until September 14, when the Iowa Bar exam results are posted.  I am kicking off my Monday-after-the-bar-exam-one-on-one time with the Today Show’s coverage of yesterday’s American medal winners.   One of the Silver-medalist Synchronized Divers said “you don’t win the medal alone.”  She went on to say that she would not be where she is now without the support of friends, family and coaches back home.

I feel the same way about the breaking the finish line of the bar exam. 

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